Three Stitches of Peer

X1: "Morning,,, why are you so black??"
R: Looking to my clothes and my veil with sad gesture
X1: "Are you sad?"
R: "Not really"
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Grouppes just having breakfast but I have no energy to join...
Phone's ringing
X2: "Hey,, where are you?"
R: "My desk"
X2: "Having breakfast?"
R: "Yeah,, I am going down now,,"
X2: "But we are just finished it, want us to buy?"
R: "No, I'll just go to the canteen (office canteen)"
R is walking to the street (street canteen) with gloomy face.
X3: "Hey,, why are you so gloomy?? We are here, u don't have to"
R: "Yeah.." no expression
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I just don't know exactly why this 'thing' happen to me, but I then "suggest" myself that everything happen for reason,, Yeah It must be.
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On that "mid-Monday", I just have no clue for this to happen.
It was a long weekend from saturday till monday. I woke up late as usual..
But, I have had planned one thing from the night before (Sunday night)..
That thing is "I have to use my knife today", I bought that a very long time ago and I don't cook nowadays. "I have to use that knife at least for my peer".  I don't want that "the knife" will be no use and no value. So I planned to peel my peer.

It was just okay till half peer. But Yeah, I do have experience to hurt my finger last time when I was home. Now, I did it again,, I know that i have no good experiences with knife. I just sliced my finger. I pushed it to hard. Fresh blood in my hand. I got panic that moment. At least my mind still okay, I just toke the "honey bottle". The honey's age about one half year. I had no plan to drink it but I didn't want to throw it away. Yeah, it was planned for my finger
I washed my fingers with honey and then with water then honey again then water again about 5-10 minutes. My fingers consumed half bottle of that but i was still bleeding.

"I have to do something!! I have to do something!! I have to do something!! I have to do something!! I have to do something!! I have to do something!!......................"

I toke the shirt from my closet then cover my hand. I moved to the bed.

"What should I do???? I have no betadine"

I tried using "go-med" (application that make u easy to buy things because u dont have to go outside, the driver will), It toke so long time, I knew it would fail. And yes It happened.

I called the driver's number that I had in my phone, but it wronged number. I just knew it that moment. I shad it for this kind of time and moment, but I had the wrong one. So sad.

I asked my friend for driver number that she had, but no replied.

I went outside my room to searched for betadine and Alhamdulillah got it.
The pain was really awesome..

I was googling for the "first aid" treatment that i should have done by myself because i have no one here. Just me.

I want to call my friend, her husband is a doctor, but that day was her birthday, she was on vacation, her husband went to the other city to help people that suffer from earthquake. I knew it wasn't the right time to call.Finally,  I didn't call her. 

I asked for help from my brother and sister from the line group. My mom just calling me a moment i asked for help. My sister told her. And she asked me to go the the doctor. She knew I had no plan to go. Yeah I did do.

I just waited for moment, hoping "this thing" would be better by time. But it didn't. The bleed sill want to appear. My hand looked so terrible,, I was afraid bad thing would happen. Then, I remember a "Kakak". She lives not far. I asked where the nearest hospital or clinic. And unexpectedly, she told me that she was standing in front of my gates. She would accompany me. I thought she was still on her town, but she said she just arrived a moment ago.

We went to the clinic but there were no doctor. Then we moved to the hospital. And you know what???  I got three stitches. It was my first experience. I never imagined that.. The pain was so real, especially when u got pain killer. I am so thankful i was not alone going there.


"R, I planned to take another schedule (one hour later), but the officer offered that time, I thought it was impossible. But the officer said there were 5-10 minutes left so it still possible"

"It happened because of Allah, R"

R is so thankful. 

 It just cheered me up listen that statement from her. I feel so relieved. At a moment  I thought that I was not alone here. Allah handle it for me.

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Another feeling:

You have to know that I have a perfection about hygiene. I used to wash my hands couple times a day so my hands are being so so so dry. It really makes me sick about my thought about hygiene. Maybe this moment Allah just heard my pray so i won't hurt my hands and my body much more. I keep think positive..... Inya Allah.

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